What will happen when I die?
It’s normal to want to know what happens when you reach the end of your life. That’s not to say it’s easy to think about. Understanding and making your own choices will help you to feel more empowered and in control of what’s happening to you, and give you the best experience. It’s fine if you aren’t ready. Ask someone close to you to take a look instead.
What does dying feel like?
Death is different for everyone. What you can and should expect is that no matter where you are, you will get medical support to make sure you are as comfortable as possible. Planning and making decisions early on can help with this. It will mean that you’re where you want to be – whether that’s at home, or in a hospice or hospital – and that the people looking after you understand your needs and wishes.
In terms of what happens physically, your body will gradually start to slow down which means you might need to sleep a lot more and be less responsive when you are awake. You might also slip in and out of consciousness. You might not feel like eating or drinking much, and your breathing patterns can change. However, death can be hugely variable so it’s always best to talk through your questions and fears with the palliative care team. Everyone should talk with you honestly, with respect for your fears, wishes and feelings.
It might sound scary, but studies have shown that you probably won’t be afraid of what’s happening to you at the time. Lots of people have spoken about comforting dreams or visions of being reunited with people they loved, visiting peaceful places or experiencing happy memories. Many people who have had a near-death experience say that death feels peaceful, natural and okay.
Also remember that the medical professionals looking after you are highly skilled and experienced. They will do everything that they can to make you peaceful and comfortable but you might then not be awake; it’s a balancing act that you and the whole team will discuss and manage.
Where will I be?
Where you die might be very important for you. Many people assume that it will happen in hospital but that doesn’t have to be the case. Home or hospices can provide comforting environments where you’ll be well cared for and comfortable. It’s up to you and your family or partner to decide what’s right.
You can ask your nurse or CLIC Sargent worker for advice about your options. They could arrange a visit to a local hospice so you can decide if it’s a good choice for you. Nothing has to be set in stone – anything that’s in your advance care plan can be changed. Just be mindful that you might need to review your choice depending on your condition.
Read more about choosing where to be at the end of your life [link to Home, hospice or hospital – choosing where to be at the end of your life]