Freddy’s story. Hearing ‘Freddy has cancer’ on his birthday

On Freddy’s 16^th birthday, his parents heard the words they never thought they would hear; ‘Freddy has cancer’. They were in shock but agreed to wait to tell Freddy until after his birthday.

The next few months, Freddy had six rounds of treatment at Addenbrooke’s hospital. This meant six months away from the rest of his family, friends and school. His brother, Stanley, went to stay with their grandparents.

“It was June last year, we noticed a lump when he came out of the shower but we just thought he’d done too much as he had just finished school and then went to help our neighbour being a labourer. My next-door neighbour noticed he seemed tired, but we just put it down to just leaving school and doing full time work.

“Then on the Sunday, Freddy said the lump on his neck was really hurting. My husband took him to A&E and that’s when they did some tests and kept him in hospital overnight. On the Monday, which was his 16th birthday, they diagnosed him with cancer.

“They wanted to do more tests, they told us they thought it was Lymphoma cancer. We still couldn’t believe it, it was all a bit of a shock. However, we pulled ourselves together and went back out of the private room where we were told to see Freddy as Freddy had stayed on the ward whilst we spoke to the consultant.

“We agreed that we didn’t want to tell Freddy on his 16^th birthday, so they let us go home as long as we were able to go back first thing the next morning. We went home and had tea and cake and acted normal and then we got the consultants to tell Freddy on the Tuesday.

“Freddy just took it all in his stride – he cried at first when he was told he had cancer and then that was it, he just dealt with each day and what it threw at him. He was so Brave!”

Freddy was then transferred to Addenbrookes hospital, where he was admitted to the Teenage Cancer Trust ward.

“We saw the consultant quickly after being transferred and I think it was about a week from diagnosis to starting the treatment. It’s all a bit of a blur as it happened so quick.”

Freddy went on to have six rounds of chemotherapy treatment but because he was so poorly he stayed on the ward throughout his entire treatment. His parents would stay in the nearby hostel rooms or hospital home from home rooms.

“Freddy was really sick, he couldn’t eat anything, and he couldn’t keep anything down not even water and he just generally felt unwell. He became very tired too. However, the consultant was brilliant at monitoring this and adjusted his medication to ease the side effects of the cancer and chemo. He had good days and bad days. The specialist nurses were fantastic and answered any queries we had.”

Freddy’s treatment had an impact of many parts of their family’s life including being away from his younger brother.

“My youngest son went to live with his grandparents for six months while Freddy was having the treatment and afterwards as we couldn’t risk infection. He was only 11. It was super tough on us all but especially him.

“We explained why he had to go, and he did understand but he was only 11! Freddy having cancer did have an impact on him and he had to have counselling. Because he wasn’t living it, I think it was actually worse because he was only seeing bits of it or hearing it, so he didn’t actually get to see Freddy only when Freddy came home from a distance in the garden so that was quite tough.

“He started a new school in September as well and we weren’t there for that. It was his birthday in September, and we could only celebrate with him from a distance and outside, but he understood, and we had to think outside the box, so we still celebrated it. Just in a very different way.”

Freddy’s family home is about an hour and twenty minutes from the hospital, which meant having to drive back and forth many times. This took up a lot of time and meant paying out for rising petrol costs.

“Driving backwards and forwards was quite draining.  We just lived in the whirlwind, spent most days at the hospital, both me and my husband didn’t go to work, but we did go to work when we could. Freddy took priority.

“Some of the difficulties we faced was driving there and the petrol, especially when they were shutting all the garages due to no fuel. The car parking at the hospital cost but we did get it subsidised which was good. Freddy got his food but then we would have to go down to the canteen or grab something on the way home.

“We must have spent well over £800 just on petrol alone but needs must.”

Freddy also missed going to school and seeing his friends.

“Freddy was due to start college in September but he wasn’t allowed to go because the risk of infection was too high, so he did it remotely for a bit and then went back to college February time this year.

“Freddy’s had to repeat the course because it was more of a practical course which is a shame as he caught up with all the written work and got good grades in that, but because it’s quite a practical course he didn’t get enough practical hours in. Some days, when he had treatment, he had a week where he didn’t do any work but then he’d play catch up the next week and spent all day doing the work, so he didn’t get behind. The tutors were very impressed!

“Freddy found being away from friends tough. He couldn’t go to prom, he couldn’t go to graduation and celebrate finishing or enjoy the summer. We did have our own little prom in the garden, we did it a bit differently but we did do something and Freddy enjoyed celebrating a different way with his mates.”

Freddy finished his treatment just before Christmas, which meant his family had a special festive reunion.

“We pulled my youngest out of school two weeks early so he had a week at grandparents because of covid to be able for him to come back home for Christmas – it was lovely. We had my parents over and my husband’s parents over and just let the boys play together and do what they wanted to.”

Throughout Freddy’s treatment his family was supported by Sophie, a Young Lives vs Cancer social worker. She not only supported Freddy but all of his family.

“Sophie was always on the ward and came round to see us, seeing if we needed anything and making sure we were ok when we were on the ward but also at home too. She thought about Stanley too and put support in place for Stanley to get counselling. Sophie was amazing and went above and beyond we can’t thank her enough.

“We couldn’t have got through it without Sophie and yourselves, Sophie was amazing literally even if we weren’t at hospital, we could text her or call her and if she didn’t have the answer, she would find out for us and she would always pop in on the ward when we were about.”